


No Emergency Here

by its_me_smol_steve



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Tony is a good father figure, may being awesome, peter is Done with them, seriously just a bunch of fluff, we all love may parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 14:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19133899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_me_smol_steve/pseuds/its_me_smol_steve
Summary: May Parker visits Peter’s school to add Tony as Peter’s emergency contact.The secretary doesn’t like that.Tony takes offense (like he always does).





	No Emergency Here

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!!! Here I am again, sleep-deprived as usual! ;) Anyways. You read the summary. Now go read the *fic*.
> 
> Love y’all!!!

“I understand,” she said, smiling her I’m-just-barely-not-ripping-your-throat-out smile. She used it a lot on Tony, particularly when he let her nephew try new death-defying stunts during missions. She remembered his face the last time she had turned that expression on him, and her smile turned slightly more genuine. “This must sound insane. But I have all the information right here. Surely we don’t have to call him down here just to resolve this one tiny issue, right?”

She thanked her years as a sales worker for not flipping her top when the assistant shook her head. Again. “I’m very sorry, Ms. Parker, but we simply cannot allow this without him here, in person, to sign off on it. I understand this may seem superfluous, but it does save time in the long run.” She looked smug, like she had caught May in the act of lying, and that made her blood boil.

“Well then. I suppose I’ll just have to call him, won’t I?” She grinned with all her teeth. It was a terrifying look, if she did say so herself. Plus, she’d learned it from Natasha.

“I suppose you will,” the secretary said, and her smile seemed less sure.

Good, May thought, and pulled out her cellphone, keeping eye contact the whole time. “Hey,” She started with a sigh when he greeted her. “I’m sorry to do this to you, but the school won’t let me put you as Peter’s emergency contact unless you’re here, in person, to sign off on it. Her words.”

A pause, “That seems ridiculous and unnecessary. I’ll be there in five. You wanna scare Pete?”

“Stark,” she said sweetly, “if you’re planning what I think you are, I will actually physically harm you.”

“No scaring Pete, got it. That is noted. Definitely. J, you catch that?” A pause, in which she could almost hear the British-accented voice. “Perfect. Yep. J noted it too.”

“Stark?” She interrupted. “Just get here.”

“That is...also noted,” he said. “ETA four minutes. Hey, what classes does he have? D’you just wanna call him into the office? I’ll take him back with me after, spend a day in the labs together. It’ll be fun.”

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna inconvenience you...”

“I’m completely one hundred percent sure. May,” he said, and his voice became quieter, more secretive. “I swear to God he’s the only one who can keep up with me. I’m going crazy with just these little brains.”

“Little brains, huh?” She smirked. “Like what? Like mine?”

He spluttered. “What? No! That’s- I- No! May, did you or did you not raise him?”

“I did.”

“And that’s all the evidence we need! You are-”

“Hey,” she interrupted. “I was joking, Einstein. Thanks for trying to boost my confidence, but I know my worth.” She smiled, listening to him splutter for a few more moments. “Hey, so your time’s almost up. You walking in?”

“Just landed in the parking lot,” he promised. “Jarvis, sentry mode.”

“Ooh, sentry,” she laughed. “Guess I’ve got nothing to worry about, huh?”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about regardless, with that kid of yours. He’s something else, May.”

“He is,” she agreed. “I’m lucky to have him.”

“I’m lucky you shared him with me,” he said from the doorway, and smiled at her. “Hi, May.”

“Tony,” she smiled, and stood to greet him with a hug.

He stepped back after and turned to address the secretary. “So you needed me here in person, correct?”

“Y-yes, sir,” the starstruck assistant got out. “Your ID, please, and a written confirmation for our records that you allow your information to be used as Peter Parker’s emergency contact.”

“Of course,” he said, sliding his license across the desk to her with a smile. “May I have a pen and paper? And,” he turned back to May. “About his schedule. Want to call him in?”

May grinned. “Now why do that when we could embarrass him?”

Tony laughed, “I knew I liked you for a reason.” Turning back to the assistant, he asked, “What class is he in right now?”

“Mr. Parker is currently in advanced chemistry with Mr. Hulen. Room 412.”

“Thank you very much,” Tony smiled, and slid the pad across the desk to her, holding his hand palm-up for his ID.

“Thank you,” she said. “Have a nice rest of your day.”

“You as well,” he nodded, and grabbed the door for May, closing it securely behind him. He was silent for a couple of steps before he said, “I bet I could get her fired.”

“And then what?” May sighed. “Listen, Tony, there are assholes everywhere. You used to be one. If you’re a billionaire, only idiots are assholes to you. But for the rest of us, we deal with it. She probably won’t be the only one today, and it’s fine. I’ll deal with it.”

“So I can’t embarrass her?”

“No!” She laughed. “Tony, these people happen, is what I’m trying to say. Anyways, we’re here.” She chuckled, “you know he probably either heard or sensed us.”

“Or both,” he shrugged. “Doesn’t mean it won’t embarrass him. Whaddya think, all the flair?”

“Oh, definitely,” she encouraged him. “All of it. The more the better.”

“In that case,” he grinned, and opened the door, catching it just before it slammed against the wall. “Ah, hello! Mr. Hulen, correct? I’m here for Peter.” He grinned directly at the teenager.

“Well, then,” the teacher said, and it was easy to tell he was at a loss. “I, uh, guess you should pack your things up, Mr. Parker. I trust you know the lesson well enough by now that you’ll have no trouble with the homework.”

Peter, busy packing up his backpack, simply nodded. A girl a few rows down from him raised her hand, and at a nod from the teacher, asked, “Is it true Peter’s your intern?”

Tony frowned, confused. “Of course he is. Why would I take him out of school if he wasn’t?”

“Well, it’s just that Flash says that Stark Industries doesn’t accept high school interns. He tried already.”

“Well, I’d say I know a little bit more than Flash does,” Tony laughed. “Technically, though, he’s correct. SI doesn’t accept high school interns. I, however, do. Peter isn’t a Stark Industries intern. He’s a Stark intern. There’s a difference, understand?”

She nodded, gaze drifting to Peter wonderingly, and the teen sighed. “Can we just go, Mr. Stark?” He mumbled, already shifting towards the door.

“Of course we can,” Tony beamed, sliding an arm over Peter’s shoulders. “Thanks!” He called back to the teacher, who, once again at a loss, nodded.

Peter noticed May when they exited the classroom, and his countenance brightened as he squirmed out from under Tony to hug her. “Hey, May,” he sighed, releasing tension as she hugged him.

“Hey, bud,” she laughed lightly. “Long day?”

“The longest,” he groaned, his face still in her shoulder.

“Well, I know something that might make it better,” she smiled, and he lifted his head, intrigued.

“I actually did want your help today, Pete,” Tony said, smiling. “I know today isn’t a regular lab day, but how would you feel about making it one? Just this once?”

Before Peter could answer, May hummed. “That isn’t what you said on the phone. Remember, little brain?” She teased, and Tony groaned.

“Really? Fine. You want me to say it, I will. Pete, I’m dying in there. Bruce is out of town for a science conference or something and I’m going out of my mind. No one can keep up with me. It’s why I wanted you at the labs today. You can keep up with me. You’re really something, kid, and I’d like to take you to the lab today so I don’t go insane and punch a researcher in the nose.”

Peter laughed and shook his head. “Thank you, Mr. Stark. That really means a lot to me. And yeah, I’d love to come to the lab with you, no matter the reason.”

“Great,” Tony said, then grinned. “But I have an idea first.”

“What is it?” Peter asked, and Tony’s grin grew.

“Ice cream.”

“Heck yeah!” Peter cheered, and they headed on their way.


End file.
